Willing Wednesday … Get The Picture?
Welcome to my newest blog site … trandymay.com. I encourage you to visit it often as I will be posting daily. The primary focus of my posts will be in the area of Personal Growth and Development, and will spill over into the Growth and Development of my Internet Networking Experiences.
Janet Leger, in today’s Morning Motivator, began our session with a quote from Ralph Marston, “It doesn’t matter how much you want. What really matters is how much you want it. The extent and complexity of the problem does not matter as much as does the willingness to solve it.” The willingness … have you taken a good look at your willingness today? I have and believe me, I have to take that look every day! I want to share a little about one of the biggest tasks I have ever attempted …
When I was young, I was a really “little” guy … I was skinny, nerdy looking, very non-athletic physically, and pretty clumsy! I became one of those kids that the bullies chose to pick on in front of the other kids to make themselves feel bigger. At recess or PE, when teams were chosen, I was always the last to be chosen. In grade school, a certain bully always met me, on the first day of school, as I entered the school yard. He would push me around and get the other kids to point and laugh at me. If I tried to stand up for myself, which I usually did, a physical tussle would commence and off to the principal’s office we would go! Now this bully’s mother was the 4th grade teacher, so who do you suppose the principal would believe when he asked us to tell why we were fighting? You guessed it, not my story! This type of behavior continued on into Junior High and when I was 13 years old, I found that when I drank some alcohol, my fear of those other kids went away and I could be aggressive in defense of myself and it worked! I had found my solution.
In an attempt to make a long story short, let me tell you this … what I didn’t know was the I had an allergy to the drug alcohol and when I ingested that drug, I would experience the phenomenon of craving as an allergic reaction. I thought that alcohol was wonderful and I also thought that if it made me feel so much better, I should just naturally want more!
At the age of 42, I found myself in the grips of a deadly malady, and I was ready to give up all hope of any form of normal life and resign myself to a destiny of Lockups, Insanity and eventually Death. I felt the hopeless futility of life and Lucky for me, I was forced to take a look at myself when I entered a mental hospital, fully believing I was having a nervous breakdown. At that hospital, they forced me to look at something they called alcoholism and try to accept that I wasn’t having a nervous breakdown, that I was an alcoholic and where I was that day was where alcoholism had taken me. Damn it, anyway!
So here is the point of my little story. I was guided to a recovery process that had worked for others and they were there to share their journey with me, and I found the willingness to listen and act. What a deal … did I say willingness? They gave me a book to read and follow. In the fifth chapter, entitled “How It Works”, this book laid out a plan of recovery, step by step for me to follow. What relates to today’s Morning Motivator session, is what is written in that book, chapter 5, paragraph 2: “Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it – then you are ready to take certain steps”. You see, this book was written by the first 100 people who had used this program of recovery successfully. They published the book in 1935, the purpose for which was stated, “To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered”. Now that is all I will be saying about my recovery from alcoholism in this post, but I wanted to share some of that experience with you to emphasize the importance of what we talked about today on Willing Wednesday … the willingness to go to any length to get what we need or want. What really matters is not what or how much we want, but to what length we are willing to go to get it. I happily report that I have not had a drop of alcohol enter my body since July 29, 1989 and today is May 16, 2012!
I would like to thank Janet and all my friends that are with me on this wonderful journey for the amazing awareness that I found today on Willing Wednesday … what a nice family to be a part of.
Drop back again and see how my journey is progressing. If you would like to comment on this post, please do. Comments are always appreciated!
Published: May 16, 2012, 15:40 | 5 Comments on
Category: The Morning Motivator